[Niche Site Articles]

By: Robyn Collins

If as a school we want to develop relationships with stakeholders that encourage genuine input to the schools strategic direction we, first, have to learn to listen.

When another person speaks, we are usually listening at one of four levels:

Ignoring, not really listening at all;
Pretending, Yeah, Uh,huh. Right;
Selective listening, hearing only certain parts of the conversation;
Attentive listening, paying attention and focusing on the words that
are being said.

It is a rare person, indeed, who really listens with intent to understand. Listening with the intent to understand what another person really wants, feels and wishes to convey is so powerful because it gives accurate data to work with.

Effective communicators constantly practice good listening skills because they:

Listen to understand. Many of us listen simply until we can get our chance to speak. So our brains are only on half gear as we think up our response while the other person is talking. Turning off the impulse to get our words in as soon as we can gives the speaker our undivided attention. If you have ever been in a conversation with that rare person, the good listener, note carefully what he or she does and practice what you observe.

Listen without interrupting. Many people only listen so they can speak. They cannot wait to get their bit in and may interrupt before the person has finished speaking. Quite often this means we only get part of the conversation, as many people often need to talk their way to understanding. Sometimes people do not even bother to have a meaningful conversation because before they start they know they will be interrupted. Others constantly feel misunderstood because they have not had a reasonable chance to have their say.

Suspend judgment. Some listeners think they know what the other person is trying to say before they finish saying it or they jump to the conclusion that what the person is saying is wrong and they cannot wait to set them right. Allowing people to complete an opinion and then genuinely trying to see their point of view before jumping in with a judgment or criticism allows respectful dialogue to occur. Making a quick judgment and being sure of your own rightness, can generate ill feeling, cause an argument and, almost certainly stop ongoing conversation.

Remain open. It is impossible to have a meaningful conversation with a person who has already closed his or her mind to another point of view. Remain open to the viewpoints of others; welcome feedback; accept discussion, critique and probing questions as opportunities for learning and growth. It is obviously difficult to accept criticism without getting defensive or taking the comments personally. A good listener tries to stay open to meaningful dialogue and feedback and to accept differing points of view as an opportunity to learn.

Validate the speaker. Good listeners acknowledge what they have heard with positive reinforcement. This might include open body language (regular nodding of the head, for example); simple responses (yes, I know what you mean, I agree); and positive acknowledgement (thank you; I appreciate you sharing that with me). If the listener has a differing point of view use a response like, yes and, and then give your differing point of view. Avoid, yes but, as this immediately implies judgment and discounting of the viewpoints of others.

Robyn Collins is a former school principal and passionate about education. She wants every school to be the best it can be.
Find out more about school improvement through strategic planning at: http://www.strategicplanning4schools.com

Tags: Business/Communication listening listening skills strategic planning communication effective communication

The Importance of Active Listening to Develop School Strategic Plans